The Danger of New Year’s Resolutions and What to Do Instead.
Well, it's that time of the year again, isn't it?
Perhaps you've already written your New Year's Resolutions for this year, or are about to write them any day now. Let me suggest to you something. DON’T DO IT! Don’t set yourself up for failure one more time, unless feeling not good enough is high on the agenda. What am I talking about? What’s wrong with having goals and planning positive change? OK, pull out your last year’s list and take a look at it. How many things can you cross out? Many? Good for you. Though I am certain you are among the minority. I was in the gym last year, in early January. I was going to use the tread mill… except every one of them was taken, and more people next to each machine, were awaiting their turn. This never happens in that gym in the middle of the afternoon when most of the tread mills are not occupied at all. The trainer next to me laughed. “Just wait till the middle of January,” he said, “it will all be over.” And it dawned on me: The New Year’s Resolutions. Of course. Do I need to tell you he was right on? The word “goal”, so praised in our culture, is derived from the Old English “gal”: barrier, obstacle, jail. Yes, jail. Because unless your motivation for the goal comes from the right place, it will end up imprisoning you. It will turn into an obligation, another obligation to add to so many you already have. And you will resent it, and also resent yourself for having created it and for failing at it once again. Every real change happens organically and is a result of an inspiration. So if for example, you want to lose the same 10 pounds you haven’t been able to lose in years – why do you want to do it? Because you want to get into that dress or those pants again? Not enough of a motivation. Otherwise you would have done it long ago. But seriously improving your health through better eating habits, AND with it, being able to get into that dress is! This comes from inspiration, motivated by self-love. And you won’t need to buckle up and overpower yourself so you can eat less. It will not be a struggle. And you ARE going to want to exercise, you will want to eat better food and smaller portions! Because you will start noticing how much better you feel, and that will inspire you to continue… . And as long as you remain inspired, your chances of staying with this new course will get stronger and stronger. And eventually – imagine that! – you can get into that dress and those pants again! You will also gain back your self-esteem, rather than losing it like you did each of the previous years, hopelessly trying to battle your old eating habits. Similarly, for example, deciding to learn new computer skills because your boss is insisting on it isn’t going to be as powerful as learning the same skills because it would be a fun and exciting thing to do.
And also, start dreaming how it would feel once you've learned these new skills and become really good at them. And dream big. Allow your imagination to take you places you didn't dare go before. Become excited about The Possible! The Possible that is always more than you or I can imagine. Why limit ourselves with specifics, when what we can create can be limitless? Don’t say “I will make “X” amount of money” this year. Instead, say “I will create great success in my business in every way. And I will enjoy it! I will have fun with it! I will enjoy the freedom this success will bring me. The opportunities that will show up for me as a result of it.” Allow the Universe to participate with you. Keep the door wide open for magic and stay inspired. Work, have the discipline, follow through, be patient… and DREAM!
Dream but do not struggle. Find your inspiration and let it empower you. And when the year comes to an end – which will be faster than any of us can imagine, (haven’t you noticed? Time isn’t what it used to be and it is speeding up,) have a grand celebration. For there will be lots to celebrate. Because so many of the dreams you have birthed will have become a glorious reality! See you there!